Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?

If you ever wondered who would come out on top if the three greatest American talk show hosts were to go toe to toe, then look no further.

Go here to see some behind-the-scenes animosity.

J.K.


Make Me A Grilled-Cheese Sandwich, Asshole

circular_reasoning.gifJust what I needed on a Saturday morning;

Argumentative logic is pretty tough to wrap the brain around at first, so I think we should delve deeper into the territory—or at least due west, then up, then right—because there are all sorts of argument variations you could feasibly encounter under everyday circumstances. From politicians and CEOs to professional scholars and news anchors, there are vast numbers of self-proclaimed pundits putting our tricky language to optimal use in the hopes of convincing you that the very absurd things spewing from their mouths actually possess an iota of truth. Often these linguistic smoke and mirrors prove quite effective—just have a look at that last sentence for proof of that.Other examples include the flip-flop argument:

  • I am a mortal being.
  • Mortal beings die.
  • Therefore, I am now an immortal being.

This particular argument was originally postulated by John Kerry during the 2004 presidential election. I consider this a sound argument. That is to say, I believe it, personally. Although I will allow that it seems a tad fishy.

You might find the following argument, originally posed by my abusive uncle to his teenage stepson, a bit more useful—if not way more convincing:

  • I am a mortal being.
  • Wait, no, I am an immortal being.
  • Make me a grilled-cheese sandwich, asshole, or I’ll incinerate your Datsun.

My Uncle Grant is tough to step to in a cage match of the mind (also, I think he’s a demigod). You see how he just made a singular point, and then completely reversed his stance on that point, and then threatened his opponent’s livelihood? That is rad, and also known as a non-linear argument, because it doesn’t go in a straight line or make any fucking sense whatsoever.

Make sure you read the rest of it (from here).

J.K.


Colbert vs. The Smog Monster

See Bill O’Reilly making kissy eyes, and pouting like a painted French tart, at Stephen around 1 minute 30 seconds in. Also, according to Bill there are no right wing critics; so why does he need to qualify critics as left wing then? i.e. if all critics are left wing… oh, you know the rest.

J.K.


Tickles

Two of the phuqueing funniest phuquers in the multiverse, yo!

J.K.


Liberal Fascism

Liberal Fascism == Fuckwad.

Just because I can. (explanation 1, explanation 2).

J.K.


Porn star geography

A veteran of the porn entertainment industry, in one of her few forays into mainstream entertainment, demonstrates both her keen understanding of world geography, and of comedy.

I can only imagine the scene, at her next double anal penetration shoot, when she asks her co-stars what country they (all 15 – 20 of them) are from. What a comic genius…

Sometimes the idea of a porn industry upsets me, but then I think of this girl, and others like her, and I feel much better. I mean, what else would she be doing? Keeps her off the streets at least. Thanks to Leo for the clip.

J.K.


We don’t know what will happen to the dollar…

Supermodel ‘rejects dollar pay’
New low for the dollar as top-paid model demands her fees in euros

Gisele Bündchen is said to be keen to avoid the US currency because of uncertainty over its strength.

Last month, billionaire investor Warren Buffett said that he was not confident about the strength of the dollar.

“We are still negative on the dollar relative to most other currencies so we bought stocks in companies that earn their money in other currencies,” he said of his Berkshire Hathaway investment vehicle.

And Jim Rogers, a former investor partner of George Soros, told the BBC that if he was buying currency now it would be the Chinese renminbi, the Japanese yen and the Swiss franc and not the US dollar.

Worlds prettiest economist says she will no longer accept payment in dollars. Will America shortly fabricate intelligence of WMDs on her person, launch an all-out diplomatic offensive, and subsequently invade her? If not, may I?

J.K.