This is not the Wolf you are looking for…

Wolfowitz ‘broke World Bank laws’
White House stands by Wolfowitz
Wolfowitz ‘broke World Bank rules over girlfriend’s pay’
Angry Wolfowitz in four-letter tirade

The latest American big budget comedy to hit our shores;

A panel of executives at the World Bank says its President Paul Wolfowitz broke bank rules in awarding a substantial pay rise to his girlfriend.

I see. What say you Mr. Wolfowitz? How do you answer the charges?

An angry and bitter Paul Wolfowitz poured abuse and threatened retaliations on senior World Bank staff if his orders for pay rises and promotions for his partner were revealed, according to new details published last night.

“poured abuse and threatened retaliations” is, I’m sure, putting it mildly. From another report;

The World Bank president Paul Wolfowitz said today a report declaring that he broke bank rules to arrange a huge compensation package for his girlfriend was “unfair and unwarranted”.

The Wolf answers the charges by claiming they are “unfair and unwarranted”. He answers the charges by dismissing them. Of course he has no charge to answer. He’s an American, gawd demmit! Or to put it another way;

Sounding more like a cast member of the Sopranos than an international leader, in testimony by one key witness Mr Wolfowitz declares: “If they fuck with me or Shaha, I have enough on them to fuck them too.”

So it would seem Wolfowitz went to the same finishing school as Dick Cheney. A true statesman in the great American tradition. So what’s all the brouhaha over?

The special panel concluded that Wolfowitz’s involvement in the details of the package “went beyond the informal advice” given by the bank’s ethics committee and that he “engaged in a de facto conflict of interest“, the report stated.

A conflict of interest? Surely he’d have to have done something pretty egregious, such as getting involved in the terms and details of his girlfriend’s assignment and pay package…

Wolfowitz “placed himself in a conflict of interest situation” when he became involved in the terms and details of Riza’s assignment and pay package and “he should have withdrawn from any decision- making in the matter”, the panel said.

Say it ain’t so Wolfy! And you were doing so well… Your conservative agenda on reproductive health was beginning to…

Wolfowitz, who said he acted in good faith in arranging his girlfriend Shaha Riza’s pay package, has accused his critics of launching a “smear campaign” against him.

Just as the good ol’ U S of A acted in good faith when they invaded, occupied, murdered, tortured, raped, etc. Iraq in the name of Democracy. I’m sure Wolfy expected to be greeted by fellow World Bank staffers with flowers and garlands. Imagine his disappointment. Next he’ll be accusing his critics of antisemitism.

The former Pentagon number two and chief architect of the US-led war on Iraq lashed out after the bank’s special panel said the situation had caused a “crisis in the leadership” at the institution, according to its report released in the early hours of today.

He lashed out rather than take responsibility, or even make an attempt to atone, for what he had done.

In addition, the panel said it was of the view that the controversy “has had a dramatic negative effect on the reputation and credibility” of the bank, had raised “serious questions” about the bank’s governance and ability to carry out its mission and was contributing to “erosion in the operational effectiveness” of the bank.

I begin to wonder was this part of a planned strategy? “OK boys, I want Bolton at the UN, and Wolfowitz at the World Bank, we’ve got to break down these institutions, bend them to our will, leave them in disarray, just do your worst…”

“We’ve made clear that we support Paul Wolfowitz”, said spokesman Tony Snow, who added that the bank’s “best interests” also had to be served.

That puts you in a difficult position. You support this Wolf-man, yet you admit that the bank’s best interests have to be served… what to do… what to do… oh right! You were trying to be funny!

Mr Snow denied that the White House was trying to send “a wink, wink, nudge, nudge signal” by supporting Mr Wolfowitz while at the same time stressing the World Bank’s interests.

My mistake, you weren’t trying to be funny (phew!).

“A clear reading of the facts in this report demonstrates that this was a unique situation, missteps occurred on all sides and communication may not have been clear enough,” said US Treasury spokesman Brookly McLaughlin.

On all sides of what? All sides of Paul Wolfowitz? The many sides of Paul Wolfowitz… Damn you communication for not being clear enough! Damn you to hell! Meanwhile, lets blame the innocents for the crimes of the guilty. It’s the American way, gawd demmit!

“The facts reveal that President Wolfowitz acted to find a pragmatic solution and to carry out the direction he received from the ethics committee. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson spoke to some of his colleagues today from other countries and expressed that he does not think the facts merit dismissal.

He also went on to say “These are not the droids you are looking for!”. What difference does it make what Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson thinks? And while you’re at it, who the hell is Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson? What about an opinion from someone with a higher profile… someone with a bit more political clout… someone, say, with a penchant for shooting his friends in the face…

Yesterday vice president Dick Cheney defended Mr Wolfowitz, saying: “Paul is one of the most able public servants I’ve ever known …. I think he’s a very good president of the World Bank, and I hope he will be able to continue.”

Praise from Caesar for a man who has difficulty managing his socks.

J.K.

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