Mr. Pot, meet Mr. Kettle…

Tied up, blindfolded, waiting to die: the truth about the hostages’ ordeal
Mystery shrouds UK sailors’ saga
CIA tortured me, says Iran envoy
Tehran accuses MoD of dictating sailors’ testimony
Someone said, ‘Lads, I think we’re going to be executed’
Americans offered ‘aggressive patrols’ in Iranian airspace
In a sunlit gym, sailors finally tell their side of story
Captives’ accounts ‘dictated by British military’

So now we know the truth, that Iranian “hospitality” is no better than American. Except for one small thing; The American’s morbid, some might say perversely sexual, preoccupation with the use physical torture.

Mr Sharafi said he was taken from the Karrada district to a base near Baghdad airport and questioned in Arabic and English. “The CIA officials’ questions focused mainly on Iran’s presence and influence in Iraq,” he said. “When faced with my responses on Iran’s official ties with the Iraqi government they increased the torture.”

Y’all come back now, y’hear? Those hillbillies extended a warm southern welcome to that al-Qaeda ay-rab terrorist, and he didn’t have the decency to say thanks…

One of them dropped to the floor screaming, “They are going to execute us.” Another could be heard throwing up. Lt Felix Carman, 26, managed to struggle out of his bindings and rip his blindfold off. He yelled that there was no firing squad, to relax, before the Iranian guards jumped on him.

Water-boarding anyone?

Royal Marine Joe Tindall said: “They [the Iranians] changed from the military dress to all black, their faces covered. There were weapons cocking. Someone, I’m not sure who, someone said: ‘Lads, lads, I think we’re going to get executed.’ After that comment someone was sick and as far as I was concerned he had just had his throat cut.” Lieutenant Felix Carman added: “Some of us feared the worst.”

So the Iranians seem to have adopted your own techniques, without the actual physical bodily harm, because of the great success you’ve had with them. Maybe they should have shipped them off to Syria, or Egypt (you know, to those good folks who do such sterling work for the Americans) for some legitimate interrogation.

As the sailors and marines told their stories, the Guardian learned that the US had offered to buzz Iran with fighter jets during the impasse. Diplomatic sources said that, Pentagon officials offered a series of military options, including for US combat aircraft to mount aggressive patrols over Iranian Revolutionary Guard bases. Britain told the Pentagon to calm the situation by staying out of it and tone down military exercises in the Gulf.

The Americans, true to form, offer to blow the shit out of everything, and the British opt for the diplomatic approach. For all the current British administration’s faults, for all their complicity in this global atrocity, for all their culpability in the lies that led to this outrage, they are not Americans, insofar as they understand diplomacy. Truly they are a match made in hell.

Meanwhile, the Iranians are convinced that separatist guerrilla attacks in Khuzestan and Baluchistan provinces are the work of British and US intelligence respectively. Earlier this week, ABC television news reported that a Baluchi group, Jundullah, based in Pakistan and carrying out raids inside Iran, had been receiving advice and encouragement from American officials since 2005.

No! The Americans offering “advice and encouragement” to terrorists?

I am so sick of this farce. I am so sick of American adventurism. I am so sick of American imperialism masquerading as a force for freedom. I am so sick of American hypocrisy. I am so sick of America.

J.K.

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